The Catcher in the Rye - Ducks

In the story Holden mentions that ducks live in a lagoon in south Central Park. He thinks about where they might go during the story and asks different people if he knows where they go. He wonders if they fly away or if people take them somewhere warm. He worries about the ducks. So later on in the story he has no where to go because he is in the city all alone so he goes to that lagoon. He shows up and looks around for the ducks and gets very close to the water, so close that he about falls in. Finally he realized there are no ducks there. It seemed like that kind of scared him or made him worry even though he knew they wouldn't be there. It was almost Christmas he knew that the ducks would be away. After he is done looking he starts thinking about his dead brother, Allie. This kind of hints that he thinks the ducks are dead. Holden worries about small things that don't even concern him. He worried all the time throughout this book. He even worried about just a few ducks that have obviously left to find warmer weather. Holden associates not being seen to being dead. When Holden is later walking across the street he asks his brother Allie to not let him disappear. With what I said earlier Holden is basically asking him to not let him die. Holden is actually afraid of dying I think. He mentioned suicide multiple times in the book but he never did it. He doesn't want to die and he does not want others to die. He knows the pain of losing someone because of death. Holden does not want others to feel the sadness he felt, even if it is just ducks. Deep down Holden relates the ducks to his brother. He wants the ducks to come back like he wants Allie to come back. The ducks coming back represent hope to Holden. Something so small would really affect him.